Where Did You Learn About Sex?

Picture this, it is 2001 and I am working my first ever job at a pharmacy for all of $5.15/hour. I grew up in a sleepy town so the store wasn’t ever busy. The only time I had a queue was when the patrons were waiting for 12:00 PM to hit on a Sunday so they could buy beer or when some old crotchety woman was yelling at me for not being able to find her cigarettes fast enough.

I still think about these people and how miserable they were without their vices. I suppose I look similar when I am at the ice cream shop and I am trying to find the last bit of patience in my body whilst a teenager who is certainly as miserable as I was fumbles through putting scoops of chocolate peanut butter into a bowl for me.

Anyways, I digress - I spent 15 hours a week at that pharmacy. I was consistently bored out of my mind so I would sneak a magazine from the shelf and slowly thumb through it. The women on the covers had flawless skin, perfect hair and were rarely wearing much.

At this rate, my pubescent face was covered in pimples and low-rise pants were trendy so my love handles softly fell over the tops of my tragically drab khaki pants. I was 15 years old and I had already sworn off wearing shorts for life.

I read these magazines hoping to find some cure all tip to save me from my unhappiness.
Spoiler alert - the advice I read in the articles that I fawned over rarely resulted in what they promised but it didn’t stop me from having hope that one tip would fix me.

I learned about pleasure, sex and intimacy through writers who wrote for women who were deemed desirable by the male gaze. I was convinced that if I learned 5 out of the 100 tips of how to give your man the best mind-blowing blowjob so he doesn’t cheat that I would be set up for relationship success.

Meanwhile, at this rate, I hadn’t even seen a penis in real life but I did have a pact with my high school bestie that we would lose our virginity by 16 years old.

Let me say that again - I had a goal to lose my virginity by SIXTEEN. YEARS. OLD.

Who in the hell parented me? I see 16 year olds now (who seemingly have escaped the pimple chubby years?) and think that they are basically fresh out of the womb!

So to prepare for that glorious moment I studied every Cosmopolitan sex article. Had I only known I would lose my virginity in the backseat of a car at a ski mountain and my snowboard would get stolen during the most confusing and uncomfortable 5 minutes of my life.

As a fifteen year old, Cosmo taught me some questionable things…
- Use my wet panties to tie my hair up in a ponytail
- ALL men cheat and I had 40 tips on how to keep my man loyal
- Use frozen grapes in your mouth when you give him a blowjob for a special surprise
- Press a fork on his perineum for explosive pleasure

I could list the absurd things my mind has decided to hold on to for no good reason - they are kept right next to the entire Spice Girl discography that my mind will not forget.

I also would secretly watch Real Sex on HBO when my parents went to bed and was fascinated by the things they shared. A part of me wishes I could watch old reruns of that show!

This is my longwinded way of saying, I didn’t have the sex education that I needed when I was a kid. If I had, I would have learned that whipped cream was for external use only but I have always had to learn things the hard way.

If you feel just as lost as you did when you were a kid and are struggling to speak up for your own pleasure in the bedroom - I’ve got a million stories that will make you laugh while we get to work and start to transform your relationship to your sex life.

Do yourself a favour - book a call with me. Share about your story with me and let’s see what we can co-create to help you feel more pleasure and joy, inside and outside of the bedroom.

Full disclosure, this chat is just a chat. No squirmy sales. No upselling. Just two gals getting together to shed a light on your own sexuality and see how we can amplify pleasure in your body.

I hope we get to connect soon!